05.25.13
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What is Your Love Language?

language

This is what will appear if you try to search for the meaning of language in Google.

On the other hand, communicating through love is a different story but follows the same concept of language.

If you have studied linguistics, you’d definitely be familiar with dialects. It is a form of language that is peculiar to a specific region or social group. And just like language, love has its own dialect and we must learn to unveil each person’s love dialect, for us to understand how each person show their love.

Word Love Stock Photography - Image: 17492232

We don’t really have to know a person thoroughly just so we can understand each other. We only need to know their love language.

However, you must know what is your own language first before trying to know other’s language, so as to understand each other’s differences and we can start from there.

I went to this site a few weeks ago and tried their love language test. And I want you to take the test too.

You’d be surprised with the results.  (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)

As you can see in the site, there are 5 different language of love that all of us has.

love language

We usually can show and give love through words, time, service, gifts and touch. Those are the 5 Love dialects that we have to know. One by one.

Here’s my personal story.

My father is a very sweet person. He usually kisses us, hugs us and would always say “I Love You” every single day. Our day won’t be complete without those sweet words.

When I lived independently for almost 2 years, he would always text me goodnight and cute messages. He is such a good communicator and has always been so charismatic. My friends usually go to our house before and find themselves enthralled with my father’s never-ending stories and chit chats. He is a people-person. He can easily gather new friends and really loves to talk and talk.

On the contrary,my mom is a bit stern and stiff (someone much more like me). She doesn’t talk that much, she is quiet, she nags but not as much as others do. She doesn’t kisses and hugs us as much as my dad.

Papa would say “I Love You!” in a crowd without hesitation, but my mother won’t.

She isn’t as expressive as my father.

But, this is how we know she loves us:

She cooks for us, do our laundry, packs our school lunch, clean our house and she always make sure that we have uniform to wear the next school day. She is our house manager.

She makes things done and will do everything to make things in order.

They have different love language.

They express their love differently.

My father’s primary love language is words of affirmation.

While my mom’s most evident language is service.

What we usually give is also the same things that we also wanted to receive.

If we love words, then, most likely, that is also how we want our partner to give us. But, what if you’re partner’s love language is service just like my mom?

Do you expect them to say “I Love You” all the time as much as you want them to?

That is where understanding comes in. 

When you know the other person’s love language, you will know they say “I Love You” even if they don’t actually say so.

I once had a relationship with a gift giver. He used to pamper me with gifts every now and then, but doesn’t do sweet gestures and give me time as much as I expect him to. I thought of it as his “spoiling tactics”  and I thought, “he is buying me” because of those gifts and material things.

I haven’t heard of love language before and soon, because we can’t understand each other’s love language we broke up.

We all have different love language and therefore when talking about love, we speak differently, thus breeds misunderstandings.

It may just be a small gift for you, but for them, that is their way of communicating their love.

You might think that it’s just an ordinary “chore” that she/he did for you (example: washing the dishes or your clothes) but for them, it means “I Love You”.

Be sensitive with other’s ways of showing love so, you can understand what they are trying to imply.

They may be doing things differently but for them, they only mean “I Love You.”

PS: To know more about love language, Go to this site and just like me, you’d love it. ~!~

05.04.13
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That Fearful Walk

Around a year ago, my then office mates went to Philipp’s Sanctuary in Antipolo City (Philippines) for our team build and this must have been an ordinary time for them but not for me.

The Log Walk

I don’t know how to swim and I don’t know how to cross that log.
It was one of my most unforgettable feeling in my whole life (as of today).

Some may think I exaggerate because the river doesn’t seem to be so deep and looks just ordinary.
But during that time, I was so damn SCARED.
My legs was shaking as I was walking towards the middle part.

I initially thought I can do it without any hardship but as I move towards the least supported part which is the middle area, the log started to shake and so am I.

I was so nervous and I was trying to shrug my fear by shouting, thinking I can release it through my voice but of course, it was no use.
I was in the middle of a shaking log, in the center of a lagoon (I don’t know how deep the water is) without any support and I know, right then and there,  I can die.
As I’ve said, I don’t know how to swim and though I have a life vest with me, I still don’t want to give in and I’m so determined to cross that shit.

One by one.
One little step at a time.
Shake after shake.
Heartbeat after heartbeat.

Yes, I was scared, I fear the unknown and at the same time, I hate NOT to FINISH that road.
I’m so sure I can do it but that time, I almost gave up and just drown myself in the river.

But, to make the long story short, I did it!
After a grueling 20 minutes, (my estimate) that seemed like a lifetime for me, I was able to finish it and cross the other line.
Yes, I found victory.

Fast forward to this year, I still can’t forget that same feeling because somehow that is how I face my life.
Though I have the confidence that I can face any challenge that life has to offer me, towards the middle, I was shaken , lost all hope and I can say that sometimes, I want to give up and submit myself to failure.

But, somehow, as much as I could, I’ll try to get what I want and just wanted to get those things done.

Combating fear.
It has never been easy.
Nevertheless, in the end, it’s just so worth it.

04.27.13
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Your Dream: If They Don’t Approve it, Elope with it

Macy\'sOne thing I have learned as I get older: A lot of people will meddle with your life whether you like it or not.

Sometimes, they can also give you “false hopes” and “broken promises” as well.

Since they are “much older” or “much experienced”, we, the “neophyte” of life were expected to listen to them.

But, the sad part is, sometimes, those were just their mere opinions and we are not to subject ourselves, towards what they say or sometimes, imply.

Sometimes, we have to listen to what is in our hearts and fight for it.

However, people around you will always have never ending opinions that can sometimes help you become better, but most of the time, it won’t.

They judge you with what is superficial and never dig deep into details before creating one.

Most of the time, they’ll underestimate your capabilities and later, these can let you down.

Their nasty opinions overshadows what is really in your heart and what you truly want.

And this is because of society’s rules and standard that is sometimes just a product of pride and ego.

Sample scenario:

Both mother and father are both doctors and they wanted their kids to become like them as well: To become a professional doctor. But, what if their kids don’t want to be inclined in the medical field  and instead, be in the music field, or they’re an artist by heart or they just simple don’t want what their parents like for them.

Questions for the parents: 

Do they have to comply with the society’s expectations towards them having a son or daughter that will follow their foot steps?

Question for the kids:

Do they have to follow what their parents want them to become and abandon their own dreams?

As I was writing this, I can’t help but remember the movie, “The Vow” (with Rachelle McAdams and Channing Tatum as the lead actors). Paige (McAdams) was a daughter of lawyer and has studied law and is already about to graduate, but opted to stay and elope with Leo (Tatum) and be the artist that she has ever wanted to be.

At the end of the day, it will still be about our happiness and what our heart truly desires.

Each of us has our own dreams and whether or not it would pass the society’s standard of “What should be” or not, this dream will be our driving force to live our lives.

Sometimes, the more we comply with the society’s standard, the more time we waste and the more things we regret.

As what in the poem Invictus says. “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” Be the own pilot of your life.

If others don’t approve of your dreams, ELOPE with it.

04.13.13
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Define Happiness in Your Own Terms

Happiness Stock Photos - Image: 19252663 When I see a good book in the store, my eyes twinkle and by then, I know what happiness is.

When I’m stressed and tired, and get to write something relevant with a cup of coffee, by then, I know what happiness is.

When I went home from work and get to see my family, by then, I know what happiness is.

When I see my friends after a long while and get to chat and bond, by then, I know what happiness is.

When someone commented something good in my blog, by then, I know what happiness is.

When I know I have helped someone, by then, I know what happiness is.

When I know I have inspired someone, by then I know what happiness is.

When I get to kiss and hug my love ones, by then, I know what happiness is.

By what means can you see your own happiness?

Learn to define “happiness” in your own terms.

List a lot so you can’t ran out.

Remember:

“Happiness, is a consequence of a personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it and insist upon it.”

Elizabeth Gilbert,
Eat. Pray. Love

04.06.13
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Where to Find Hope in a Hopeless Place

“We Found Love in a Hopeless Place”

- Rihanna

Well, it seems like love isn’t the only thing we can find in a “hopeless” place.

In the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, he had reiterated that we only live in a dream and we are currently living in hell because of anger, fear and other negative things that surrounds our lives.

Though silly as it seem, somehow, I believe him. Because of the misery everyone felt, this world had turned into “hell”.

A hopeless place.

People will destroy each other, values and morals are thrown out and disregarded, bonds break, betrayal, misunderstandings and of course, the seven deadly sins.

Its everywhere.

If we try to reflect, we can say that life is a one big mess.

But, where can we find hope in this hopeless place?

Try to examine yourself.

Are you contended for who you are and what you have achieved?

Do you see yourself doing what you should be doing in this world?

Do you think you are living with a purpose?

Are you happy yourself?

Are you one of those people who give “good” vibes to others? or one of those people who continually make fun of others and make them feel bad?

Do you make others happy? Or you make them feel miserable?

If you are one of those black sheep, come to think of it. Without knowing yourself, you unconsciously make this world miserable as well.

Remember, We are our own hope.

What can make the world beautiful? or a better place?

PEACE : Make peace with yourself. Forgive yourself and your mistakes. Start all over again.

LOVE: Love yourself. Embrace your imperfections.

HAPPINESS: Make yourself happy to give happiness to other people as well.

MONEY: Gain money by using your unique traits and abilities.

Everything that we need is in ourselves. We only need to discover it and use it for good.

However, remember that discovering yourself is the only start.

“No man is an island.” For we need to share these gifts to others. Nothing seem to be so important if we have no one to share it with.

If each of us discovered our purpose in this world, then maybe, this hopeless place can turn into a lovely and beautiful place to live in. A place where we can get love, hope and happiness.

Where to find hope in this Hopeless Place?

Look in the Mirror.

03.31.13
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When to Know If You are Wasting Your Time

time 1. What You are Doing is Not Making you Happy.

Do I still need to elaborate on this?

Every time you do things against your own will is a wasted time. (Though sometimes, it can be a bitter taste of medicine on your part) A time spent doing “unhappy things” is not a time well spent.

2. You Can’t See the Purpose of What You Do.

Sometimes, you do things for just the sake of doing it without knowing the “why” behind it. (Though sometimes, this is where surprises come along). Its good if its fun or something adventurous and something that is out of your league or something that can boost something in your personality but doing things without any purpose (or discovering it after) is definitely useless. That’s why in everything you do, extract the “reason” or the “lesson” so in the end, you can’t perceive it as a waste of your precious time.

3. If you are Not Comfortable with the People you are with

Sometimes, it can leave you with no choice. But spending an outing with your most favorite people in the world is heaven, no matter how simple the gathering is.

4. You Felt Stranded or Stagnant

If you felt like what you are doing is becoming routinely and you felt like being stagnant or it feels like you need to change something, then right then at that moment you have acknowledged it, without putting an effort to change it, is already a time wasted.

5. When You are Procrastinating

In one way or another, everyone is guilty about this. Sometimes, we are unconsciously procrastinating because of never-ending “reasons” or better yet be labeled as “excuses” not to do things. Sometimes, we tend to “plan” things without being precise on when to do it or sometimes, laziness just starts to run in our system and in an instant: TIME WASTED.

Those are just a few in my list and I bet you have more in your list. Somehow, we must all be sensitive with our time because once we lost it, we can never turn it back.

How about you? When do you know if You are already wasting your time?

03.24.13
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Why Should You Know Your Passion?

Revisiting my life 3 years ago, I was clueless about how I wanted to live my life. I strive hard to look for something that can keep me going. I searched everywhere and in every way. Never did I know, its inside me that is just waiting for me to notice.

Seeking Passion

My Passionate Life

Those are my personal blog post about my passion in life. Ever since I learned about it, I just can’t get enough. Everyday isn’t complete without me learning something new and without me writing those stuff.

I feel productive every time I’ve written and read something useful for that day.

It fuels me up. It keeps me going.

I don’t know why and I don’t know where I’m heading because of this.

Nevertheless, one thing I’m so sure, I love what I do.

As what Paulo Coelho said. “Passion makes you fearless.”

My passion is my burning desire to wake up everyday to write something good for that day. Be it a rant or something for my blog, it doesn’t matter.

Your passion gives your life a purpose. Its something that can not be stolen from you.

This passion will separate you from the rest.

People don’t understand me being passionate about writing and learning something new and I bet, your passion can’t also be understood by some as well. Even your parents and your love ones may repel to what you really want.

But, don’t let them bring you down. You don’t actually need to be exemplary good at it but what matters most is, you are happy and you are not hurting anybody. As long as you love what you do, enjoy it for no matter how may degrees and exam you take but aren’t happy and doesn’t love it, you will never succeed because your heart is not in it.

It took a long time for me to find mine so if you already do, cherish it, work on it and if you haven’t found it, keep looking.

Look inside your heart, listen to what it desires.

It will be worth it.